Love Languages

2/14/2022

Wellness

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SO let’s talk about L-O-V-E…languages. Wait a sec let me back up, Happy Valentine’s Day my lovies!! I am not super into this holiday, not because I don’t believe in love and romance. On the contrary, I believe everyday is a perfect day to express your love. What I don’t care for is the commercialization of “love.” 

Love LanguagesLove is in our daily lives, yet Valentine’s Day has us thinking and expecting the moon and stars instead of acknowledging the love we give and receive on the regular!! I remember when I was in High School for Valentine’s day I used to make love flowers out of Blow Pops as a token of my love to my friends and teachers.  This memory got me thinking about the intention behind the action.  Even at 14 I was expressing my love language. One of the ways I show love is through my actions: Acts of Kindness mixed with Gifting.  Love Languages is a concept explained by Gary Chapman in The 5 Love Languages book. While I haven’t read the book, I do understand the basis that we each have a primary love language that determines how we like to receive love.  You can even take a quiz to learn about your love language.

 

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5 Love Languages

Acts of Kindness

Who doesn’t feel loved when someone does something kind for us?  I know I do!!  On a cold day if I go in my office and Mike has a fire light for me I receive this as an act of love. His gesture is more impactful than if he gave the pair of Bottega Veneta mules I’ve been eyeing!! LOL!!  His actions tell me he thought of my needs and how he can help me.  Don’t kill me but like anyone can buy a pair of shoes. What I value about Mike’s love language is that he seeks to comfort me, care for me, and yes keep my hands and feet warm!!  Oh I just remembered  recently just after the new year Mike DID buy me a pair of shoes…for my CAR!!  LOL!! So yeah, one morning Mike walked in from running an errand and I was like – ‘where you been?’  He said – ‘I noticed you needed new tires so I just got back from having them replaced.’   Now babes, I have rather pricey rims and tires and so Mike gifting me new shoes for my car was incredibly sweet and thoughtful – Act of Kindness mixed with Gifting!!  He’s a keeper!! 

Words of Affirmation

I’m the girl that enjoys flattery, ain’t no shame in that!! Tell me you love me…please, go ahead and count the ways!! LOL!! But for real, compliments and supportive and thoughtful words that come from the heart are not lost on me.  It takes courage to speak words of love. In all relationships positive words can turn a bad day into a great one.  Like why do you think people write sonnets, poems, and love songs??  Because this really is the way to some people’s heart. 

Quality Time 

Time is the most valuable commodity on earth.  We are each given a finite place on the globe for an undetermined amount of time.  Therefore how we use that time becomes very very special. If I give you my time please know that it is precious.  If someone is giving you their time, accept it full on knowing you are valued.  Quality time is something I cherish.  Experiencing moments with the ones I love is EVERYTHING!!  In today’s world even sharing a meal, no phones present, talking, listening, engaging, looking at each other…I mean shucks that’s priceless. Am I right?!

Physical Affection

A feather light touch on the shoulder or a soft embrace, I mean physical touch feels good. It does not have to be carnal babes.  The touch a mother gives to her infant is physical love.  When my girls were tiny babies (I’m lying this applies to them now too), I would do these facial massages and let me tell you their eyelids would get heavy and they would drift away.  I didn’t utter a word, but they felt Mommy’s love through the gentle touch of fingertips.  Pure love and affection. 

Gifting 

Gift giving is one of the primary ways we show love in our society.  In fact, whether you admit it or not, most of us expect to be given gifts on holidays as a symbolic gesture of love.  I love giving gifts.  Receiving gifts is lovely too, but for me the act of gifting brings me even more happiness.  I give without expectations of receiving.  It is far greater to give than receive IMO. The thought and care that goes into shopping for the gift, the wrapping (the wrapping portion for me is even better than the shopping :))) and then finally the handing over of the gift.  I am giddy until that moment when a  gift I lovingly prepared is opened.  Ahhhh, I love it!! I guess I consider myself a good gift giver – I try to find the perfect gift, if possible. Mike and I don’t really do a lot of gift giving. I would say as a couple we toggle between the other forms of love languages. I mean sometimes I’ll see his Nepresso pods are low and I’ll order his typical order; when they arrive out of the blue he’s always like “baby you didn’t need to do that” – BUT he also  says, “thank you, I feel loved.” 

5 Love LanguagesAs we learn about love languages, remember to take note of how your loved ones like to receive love. For example, you might like to show love through gifting or acts of service but maybe your loved one really needs verbal affirmations of your affection? As we all strive to be better lovers to our partners, children, family & friends, let’s remember to make efforts to love them in the way that they need and want to be loved. The same goes for you in return. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. But most importantly, celebrate love all year long. Remember, we don’t need a holiday to show or tell someone we love them and we certainly don’t need to drop lots of money in the process. 

On that note, to all you darlings I would like to say I LOVE YOU!! I FEEL LOVED!!  My TTL community lifts me up daily:  you give me your time by reading, watching, and liking posts; you leave me beautiful supportive words on all my platforms; you gift me your coins when you shop TTL links; I can even feel the warmth when you send me personal messages.  I mean babes, I’d say you hit all love languages!! So this Valentine’s day, I say let’s take stock in the many ways we can give love and likewise the dozens of ways the people in our lives show us their language.  

I love u. 

  1. Michele R. says:

    This was perfect! Exactly what I needed to read on this day. Thanks so much, Tennille.

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I’m a clean beauty expert, a plant-based recipe guru, a fashion maven, and a mature black woman embracing my natural hair, silver streaks and all.

Welcome, I'm Tennille Murphy