Embracing Your Curly Hair



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So you’re thinking of embracing your curly hair and you don’t know where to start? I know it can be a bit intimidating. While I have always worn my hair curly, I haven’t always loved my curly hair. I spent many years trying to “tame” or “manage” my curls (read my natural hair journey). It was an emotional battle to say the least.

Embracing Your Curly HairI finally turned the corner when I found a brilliant hair stylist who educated me on curly hair and the best practices for consistently achieving great results. Today I’m going to share some curly hair care tips that will help you embrace and love your curly hair.

Curly Hair Care Tips to Help you Love Your Curly Hair:

1. Find a Curly Hair Specialist: In order to get on the best path for embracing your curly hair, I’d encourage you to find a hair stylist who specializes in curl by curl cuts. Not only can they help you restore the health of your curls, but they can fill you with the knowledge you need to properly care for your curls.

My personal curly hair stylist is Shai Amiel at Capella Salon in Studio City. He is the leading expert in curly hair. My daughters’ hair stylist is Marley at Capella Salon and she’s also amazing! Getting regular haircuts can help you maintain healthy curls and will actually help you grow your hair out faster.

2. Use Clean Hair Products: As you know I’m all about using clean products, but using clean products is especially important if you’re trying to achieve the best curly hair results. Sulfates, silicones and parabens are a few dirty ingredients that are known to cause frizz. Sulfates are harsh detergents that strip the natural oils from your hair resulting in dry, frizzy hair. Silicones also contribute to frizz by forming a waterproof build up on your hair that prevents hair from being able to absorb moisture. Aside from causing dry frizzy hair, parabens are also linked to breast cancer.Curly Hair Styling Tips

I know reading labels can be challenging. I have found the Think Dirty app to be helpful at finding offending products. Also, many stores are getting on board with helping consumers find clean products by creating their own clean beauty seal. For example, at Sephora you can shop for products with the Clean at Sephora seal to ensure your products are free of over 50 ingredients you want to avoid including silicones, sulfates, and parabens.

3. Properly Washing Curly Hair: Okay, so I never would have thought I was washing my hair wrong until I met Shai. He taught me to focus on cleansing my scalp to remove build up. To do this, I apply shampoo to my scalp and use my fingers to agitate and massage my scalp (similar to the friction you use when washing your hands).

That friction helps to remove build up from your scalp. I don’t overly rub the shampoo into the strands of my hair. The shampoo running down my hair is enough to cleanse it. When rinsing, I use the same massaging technique to properly rinse the shampoo out of my scalp. Tip: Use water that is hot enough to be comfortable but not scalding.

Check out my review of Briogeo’s Scalp Revival Shampoo below.

4. Deep Conditioning: For me, the key to hydrated hair with amazing definition is a weekly deep conditioning treatment. For the last few months I’ve been loving Adwoa Beauty Baomint Deep Conditioning Treatment.

5. Avoid Straightening Your Hair: Using chemical relaxers, a flat iron, or blow dryer to straighten your hair even once can leave long-lasting irreversible curl damage. I know this might be tough for many who love the versatility of switching between curly and straight hair, but it’s just not worth it if your overall goal is healthy curls.

6. Ditch the Heat Styling: When I diffuse my hair, I always use the lowest heat setting. While it may take longer to dry my hair, the end result makes it totally worth the time. Another gentle form of drying your hair is a hood dryer. I’m often asked how I keep my white hair from turning yellow. The biggest tip is to avoid any form of heat styling.

7. Dying Your Hair: Coloring your hair with excessive bleach can completely destroy your curl pattern. If you’re going to color your hair, I highly recommend doing so in partnership with your curly hair specialist. They will be instrumental in helping you achieve the color you love while protecting your curls.

These are the key steps to healthy, curly hair. Do you struggle with any of these steps? If so, which ones?


  1. Wendy says:

    During these times, I have opted to not go to salons. I follow Shai as well, but I find he doesn’t give a lot of info on products or how to take care of your hair unless you are a client or can make it into the salon. I don’t live in CA so that’s not an option for me. I’ve tried some of the products they use at the salon…innersense, saphira(not sure if they still use this brand) and Deva (I choose to stop using because of issues surrounding their products). I’ve also tried Briogeo(sp?)….none of these products I would consider my holy grail so I’m always still searching. Do you have any recommendations? Also, is there a store bought brand(or through the internet) that you would recommend for hair coloring? I normally wouldn’t do this at home, but as mentioned before due to COVID I’m looking for other alternatives. I have a few grays around my hairline that I would like to color. in the short term. Btw…Your gray is beautiful…maybe, one day I will embrace mine as well. Hopefully, the color will be as beautiful as yours???? Thanks in advance.

  2. Sharon says:

    I really love your Instagram and your blogs.
    I struggle with the fact that My hair is turning grey and scared haha hat it will make me look old if I don’t color my hair. Should I just let it turn grey? Cut it short. I really don’t know anymore
    I also want to know if your curl pattern changed the moment you got grey.

    Thank you

  3. Janki says:

    I found myself embracing my full curly during quarantine. Maybe it’s the time to let my hair air dry and partly it’s the journey I’ve made to realize many of my beauty standards are white centric and have made me, as a brown girl, feel ugly. Years of feeling “too dark” or having hair that was “unruly” made me wish I looked like someone else. Lately I’ve been wondering where and why I have these views? I’m starting to realize that I don’t have to buy into this. My hair is great- and like my mom (and hair dresser) always said, people pay a lot of money for it. My skin is great too- I should take pride in the gentle tan I’ve gained from my daily walks (with sunscreen, to keep me looking good). Who I am naturally is great- and I don’t need to force myself to look a certain way.
    I do realize that for me, I have to have lots of steps and products. I don’t have the wash:go hair my son has (who has stick straight hair). No 2-in-1 shampoos for me. That’s a self care battle I deal with, allowing myself these necessities disguised as indulgences.

  4. Cherie says:

    I love your hair! It is gorgeous. Thank you for tips. I am transitioning to natural and I want to be able to wear my hair with the curls.

  5. Perfect timing for this post! Appreciating the time and effort you put into your website and in-depth information you offer. You’ve really covered up almost all the possible info that every female should follow. Worth sharing! Please do continue sharing updates! Thanks!

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I’m a clean beauty expert, a plant-based recipe guru, a fashion maven, and a mature black woman embracing my natural hair, silver streaks and all.

Welcome, I'm Tennille Murphy