How to Find Joy Throughout the Holidays

12/16/2024

Love Notes

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Hi lovies! I cannot believe how fast 2024 came and went! While this past year was filled with  incredible highs and successes,  it also brought its share of uncertainty and questions about what’s next. So much has  happened in just one year and I know that for many, this year has been especially challenging and difficult – particularly over the last few months.  While we all want to feel joyful and spread holiday cheer, the truth is, that’s not everyone’s reality.

Selfcare over the holidays

For some, the holidays can really amplify the negative feelings you’re already feeling and it’s important to realize that’s okay. Not everyone wants or feels able to  embrace the picture-perfect idea of Christmas. As we say goodbye to 2024, I want to share ways we can step into 2025 with a renewed  energy and clear path towards becoming the best version of ourselves so that we have the capacity to spread love to the people around us. Let’s make the new year one of growth, positivity, and self-discovery together. 

Self-care Creates the Best Version of YOU

It might be controversial to say, but while the holidays are about spending time with others and expressing your love for friends and family, I believe it’s equally as important to extend  the same amount of love and care to yourself. For much of my life, I felt the holidays were all about catering to everyone else’s needs and not my own. This isn’t to say that I didn’t want to celebrate or extend myself to others, but by the time the holidays were over, I felt so beat down. Between hosting and trying to curate the perfect “holiday aesthetic”  I failed to  realize that I should be trying to find a balance between ways to show love to others and myself.

ways to feel less alone over the holidays

Presently, I still strive to create holiday magic in the way I envision it, but I’ve also learned how important it is to check in with myself and prioritize  my own feelings and needs. One way I’ve introduced self-care during this time of year is by carving out time just for me. Sometimes, that means showering and immediately getting back in my bed to binge watch my favorite K-drama, going to get a massage,  or “doing the most” with my skincare. The point is to do whatever makes me feel good without feeling guilty.   It’s totally acceptable to prioritize what you want and need. My intention is to be gentle with myself, so I can show up for others as the best version of myself.  I’ve learned that when I take care of my own needs first I don’t end the season feeling  irritable or burnt out. Instead, I’m able to truly enjoy the time with loved ones and give to them from a place of abundance and love. I hope this inspires  you babes to be kind to yourselves and embrace the things that bring you joy. In doing so, I think you’ll find that you’re able to to spread that  joy to others in a more meaningful way!

Set Boundaries with Others, Even Family!

Over the years I’ve struggled with setting boundaries, especially around the holidays. As I mentioned earlier, I often found myself prioritizing the needs of others while neglecting my own, and that included  allowing others to overstep my boundaries. Boundaries might seem like a harsh thing to set with family and friends during the holidays, but we all deserve to enjoy the  holidays in a way that feels special and fulfilling, without others encroaching on our happiness. One type of boundary that I set is splitting my holidays between my family and my chosen family. For last few years, I have started a new tradition of spending Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with my BFF and her family. This allows me and my daughters to have the best of both worlds while honoring what makes me feel happy. I know not everyone has the option to celebrate the holidays with their own family or might feel pressured  to please their family, even if it’s at the expense of their own joy. Whatever the case is, it’s important to try to find ways to balance what makes you feel happy and comfortable. Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting others out – it’s about protecting your peace so that you can show up as your best self. 

Holiday Traditions that don't cost money

Find Joy in the Simple Things 

This time of year, it’s so easy to get caught up in overspending. With inflation affecting so many of us, finding ways to enjoy the holidays without breaking the bank has become more important than ever. When I reflect on my favorite holiday memories, most of them have little to do with gifts at all. In fact, my favorite holiday memories are about building tradition and spending spending quality time with the people I love most. Some of my favorite traditions are simple yet meaningful—like a cozy family day on the couch binge-watching our favorite holiday movies, our annual cookie-decorating contest, or driving through beautifully lit neighborhoods to admire the holiday lights and decorations. Not to mention our karaoke and game nights that are filled with endless laughter. It’s these moments of connection and the traditions we create, that make the holidays truly special. It’s a reminder that the best memories aren’t found in what we buy, but in the time we spend together.

Give in Meaningful Ways

The holidays can truly be one of the most isolating times and I along with so many others have felt this feeling at one time or another. However, the most important thing to remember is that there is so much beauty in what we do have and what we can control. I think the holidays are the perfect opportunity to put our best foot forward and pour our energy into positive action. This can be in the form of spending time with friends and/or family or even trying to build more community.

Giving Back over the holidays

I have found that donating or volunteering can be one of the most uplifting ways to really make a meaningful difference in others lives and your own. Find a local toy drive, wrap presents for those in need, or participate in any type of community service that’s meaningful to you. The point is to turn negative and isolating feelings into positive ones. Giving back to others might make you feel less alone and foster newfound friendships and traditions that become integral to how you spend your holiday season. It never hurts to show compassion to others and by extension yourself, as this is what can set the tone for your year and even years to come. 

Let People Know You Care About Them

You never know what kind of impact a simple gesture like a call, text, or email, can have on another person. I’ve found that these moments of connection, no matter how small, can spark joy. As someone who loves socializing and chatting with friends, acquaintances, and even strangers, I’ve often discovered that what felt like a casual conversation to me had a much deeper impact on the other person, lifting their spirits and brightening their day. It’s a powerful reminder of the value of human connection. The people that you reach out to don’t necessarily have to be family, but friends and others you have wanted to check in on, but haven’t gotten around to yet. If you’re looking to strengthen your relationships or foster new ones,  the holiday season is the perfect time. Take a moment to call or write to those you’ve been missing and keep your loved ones close.  For me, I find so much joy and comfort in stepping into a new year knowing the people I value are doing well and that they know I love and appreciate them.

These were a few of the ways that I will be celebrating this holiday season while also creating a refreshed energy as we head for 2025. I really hope that you darlings have had an amazing 2024 and that 2025 is an even more wonderful and exciting year! I know for a lot of us things feel uncertain and scary, but remember to focus on what is in YOUR control and what YOU can do to create the life that you want. I really do appreciate my TTL family and community. You all really do make what I do so worth it, so thank you so much for showing up for me and I will continue to show up for my TTL fam! Sending lots of love and positivity to you all and I hope you have a beautiful holiday season!

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I’m a clean beauty expert, a plant-based recipe guru, a fashion maven, and a mature black woman embracing my natural hair, silver streaks and all.

Welcome, I'm Tennille Murphy